My Mom went to the nearest YMCA and enrolled me to a summer class of Hawaiian dancing and bought me this green grass skirt. When I saw the skirt, I was so happy and tried it on, even showing off to the rest of those who would care how I'd look nice in it. I was in Cloud 9 just thinking how I'd be shaking my hips whilst the grass skirt swept the floor! Yep, I'd be the best dancer out there! Aaaaaaaaaaaand......the first day of class came.
I don't know what happened the day before, but all I remember is that I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Now, as most people who know me, I'm bratty when I'm not in the mood. I know people are crabby on that kind of day, but somehow, all the brat gods in the world convened and empowered me with a very potent mixture of brat mixture and made me drink it in my dreams. When I arrived at the class, I didn't want to be there. I don't even want to wear the stupid grass thingy made of plastic straws. Like who cares if Mom spent some time to make sure I had what I needed to go to a stupid class which I didn't want anyway! Really, why would this princess need to dance? So, like any other princesses in training, I wailed and screamed and fought and sat on the floor like the spoiled little princess that I was. Heck, I screamed so much, I even managed to get a bag of chips out of it just as so I could have my way. Nope, this girl ain't dancin' and that was that!
On our way home, Momsy was just very quiet. I looked at her, and she just gave me a curt smile. To pacify her, I even made another compromise. I told her, "I don't feel like dancing today, but I will tomorrow. Okay, Momsy?" She just nodded.
When we got home, I planned to go out and play. Momsy, the most-loving mommy in the whole wide world, called me. I was batting my eyes like the sweet baby that I was and asked her if there was anything she needed. She replied with a question that would be forever inflicted in my head. She asked, "How many?" I looked at her with my innocent brown eyes and asked, "Oh Momsy, whatever do you mean?" She replied, "How many spankings do you want?" This is when I realized that my mother is now trying to play chicken with me. My small, sensible side was pleading, "Don't reply! Say you're sorry! Don't do it!" However, my large, egomaniacal side shouted, "How dare this woman think that you're beyond reproach? Show her what you're made of! She'll never do it!" With the same calmness as my Mom had, I confidently said, "Five." Yeah......big mistake. Mom went and got my Dad's leather belt and said, "Okay, go lay down on your belly. If I hear one crack from you, we are going to start back at one." And everything after that was blurry. The next day, I went to the Hawaiian dance class and Pearly Shell'd my ass off like there's no tomorrow. I became one of the most outstanding dancers in my grade, even went to graduate and danced in front of a whole lotta crowd. Whatever I did, I sure was not going to throw a fit and piss off my really scary Mother and dare her. EVER!
Years later, when we reminisced about this incident, Mom revealed that had I said none, she wouldn't have spanked me at all. She even chided, "I'm a fair woman. I only give things you ask for." And people wonder where I got my smart ass-ness.....lol!
If you read this and thought that my mom was an abusive woman, then you missed the whole point. She's far from it. She is loving, caring, and would give anything and everything to her children. By the same token, she wants us to learn the value of discipline and that we cannot drastically act on things just because we felt like it. She instilled in us the notion of thinking about your actions carefully and that we and we alone are responsible for our decisions. Whatever the outcome is, we have to own up to it, and take the consequences, good or bad. Up to this day, that incident, along the many other times I've been unfairly spanked (for I can never do wrong....LOL), always guide me on how I make my decisions.
And I've learned not to play chicken with my Mom. She be crazy....LOL!
Happy Mother's Day Mom. I may be partial, but you are the best Mommy in the world. I love you.
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