So You're Into S&M, Huh???

Lately, it seems that there is one common ground between my friends’ relationships with their partners – unhappiness.  Whether it’s a boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, partner, lover, FWB, or whatever the other person is to them, there is a high level of discontentment.  

So, I usually ask the obvious in that what makes them stay if there is a disconnection with their partners and here are the answers I’ve received:

•   I love her, but I’m not in love with her 
•   Divorce costs too much
• We can work things out
• For the sake of the children (Great – make your children feel guilty for your unhappiness)
•  And my all time favorite – the sex is great.

Yet, just when I’ve heard it all, there is one reason given to me lately that boggles the mind.  A friend of mine told me it’s because he’d rather settle for a mediocre relationship rather than be alone.  Oh boy! Now, if you know me, telling me that reason would really get on my nerves big time.

I know that being alone can be lonely, most especially when your life seems to be on a standstill.  So, when a person enters into a relationship with someone, the hope of eternal bliss will always be there, thinking that nothing’s going to stop it from blooming.  However, what people tend to forget is that relationships have a 50/50 chance of surviving.  It either works or it doesn’t.   Sometimes, people are just like oil and vinegar – they don’t mix.  So, in the end, what is supposed to be fairy tale ending of happily ever after sometimes actually is just another chapter of an ongoing novel.  So, if the novel is not finished, why put the book down? 

In some cultures, being in your 30’s and unmarried is frowned upon.  There are some that would even cruelly tell single people that they should not be choosy since they are not getting any younger.  A friend of mine endured this one time and I couldn’t help but say to that obnoxious elderly, “Well, you should start making amends to the people you crossed since death is just around the corner.”  (Yeah, I know, but she started it!)  What I don’t get is, why is it more important to be with someone you can’t even stand rather than to search for that one person who will complete you?  Why would you enter into an unhappy relationship just as so you can escape being an unhappy single? 

I guess the only thing I could surmise is that people really are into sadomasochism.  They have got to be!  Why else would they keep on hanging onto something that brings them nothing but misery?  Until they realize that a happy relationship is a two-way street where both persons work equally hard to achieve a unified happiness, settling just as so they don’t have to be single anymore counts as an S&M fetish.   So, ask yourself, are you into S&M?

And you thought this post was going to be naughty…………LOL!